First and Goodest

Written: 7th December, 2009

“India is among the countries with the lowest standards of English in the world according to a recent British Council Survey. Knowledge of English is a prerequisite and an imperative necessity for our progress!” he pompously declared.

Faithful Indians, see. They’re always on the lookout of things that can build our country up. And then they will hold these things sacred and ensure that they remain crystalline.

“I’m not surprised. With people like Shobha De speaking in that terrible mix of English and Hindi, and yet they are acclaimed as some of the best Indian writers at present, is it any wonder that we have that low a ranking on the survey?” he bemoaned.

Indians must be first in everything. Or best. Whichever has the more positive connotation. At least that’s what faithful Indians think. First on the list of countries with the lowest HDI. First on the list of most-polluting-nations. First on the list of countries with the most pedestrian accidents, highest incidents of influenza.

English is our redeemer though, at least this Indian thinks.

“And what is worse, is how we have taken the beautiful language (of progress!), and made the most disgusting literal translations of it. Like this ‘What is your good name?’ business! It’s a translation of the Hindi enquiry ‘aapka shubh naam kya hai’. I think that it is insulting to be asked that question. Does it mean that people have ‘bad names’? Or that within closed circles, they are perhaps known by names that are derogatory?”

Is this a generally respectful world view, emphasizing on reverence for foreign culture? Or an insecurity that comes with being coloured? Is he one of those ‘being-Indian-is-a-dead weight’ people or one of those individuals of heightened awareness, who is the face of Brand Globalization?

What seems to be escaping the notice of this Faithful Indian is that adding the descriptive to the noun and the embellishment to the question, is merely the Indian way of being respectful. Since when has respect been a cultural prerogative?

Besides, English is not our language. We understand perfectly what ‘Meggi nodells,’ ‘Mek Roni,’ ‘Strowbary Milkshake,’ ‘feshion,’ ‘Medicel shop’ and ‘Sound Ok Horn’ is, don’t we? And we’re not doing so bad on the progress front either.

Who are we kidding?

“So is it all right to say ‘Good Morning?' What about 'Happy Birthday?'” I asked him.

Of course. Its polite and mannered. It’s the right way to go about things. It’s an ice breaker, and a positive note to start a relationship on. It is acceptable and expected.

“Are you implying then, that you may want to wish the other, a ‘bad morning’? Or that it even matters to the morning, noon or night, if you wish it well or not?!”

And to think, they call Indians superstitious!

Gripped By Terror - Part 2

All I could think of during the exam was this. The first thing I did when I came home, was watch NDTV.

And I was thinking, why India? Why my India? Of course, we can also ask, why not my India?

I’m trying to look through the history I know, and the culture as I understand it, to find an answer.

Sure, we are a developing nation with extreme poverty. But there are poorer nations, and they aren’t necessarily a hot bed of terrorists asking for independence.

Since when did violence become a part of us? Sure, we were colonized by the British. But so were a lot of other nations. And they don’t have the same situation. Then again, what do the British have to do with this? Weren’t we disunited even before they set up camp, which is precisely what they used to expand their territory? We still haven’t learnt the lesson of unity. How long are we going to make excuses for that?

But then we had that historic Freedom Struggle. It was the most unique of its kind that the world had ever witnessed. We have never seen anything like it since. It was non violent and non denominational. We followed the policy of Non Alignment with regards to the world community.

But then we also had communal riots. And then we had the take over of Hyderabad, and Kashmir. We had the troubled and neglected north east and the annexation of Sikkim. We had land issues, about temples and mosques. And even though my friends and I haven’t studied about this in our history textbooks, some people have. And these people never forgot.

These people who never forgot, today call themselves the Deccan Mujahideen. It scares me to even type out the word. Their demand is an independent Hyderabad (Hyderabad lies in the Deccan Plateau of South India. Hence the name, I presume.). They want a separate Muslim state of Hyderabad, within the secular state of India.

What I can’t understand is this: India has never prohibited Muslims from their worship. Certain sects of Indians, of certain religions, have been involved in religious riots. But the nation of India is not the perpetrator of those crimes. So why then do they want a separate Muslim state within India?

So from this latest event we see that, radical Muslims aren’t just happy with one state of Kashmir. Now they want Hyderabad as well.

Check out this blog here.

It makes the point that apparently an Indian Mujaihideen wasn’t enough. A Deccan Mujahideen was required. Do they want one for every area of the globe they lay claims on?

Why does this seem more like a conquest and less like a Holy War or anything along those lines, if it even can be considered holy?

To add, here’s another example of how messed up this is. Is there really a clear objective to this attack? If it is only for the independence of the Deccan, and in revenge of the injustice inflicted by the Indian Government on the Muslims over the last 60 years, as the Deccan Mujahideen has said, why did the terrorists specifically ask for British and American nationals, thus making very serious international statements? Or is this a two birds with one stone thing?