V-Day as D-day, the Fight to Love, and Related Oxymorons

Valentine’s Day, for all practical purposes, is a commercial creation. The day itself does not bear any deep significance to those who may celebrate it, though the love they celebrate might bear some value. Politically and socially, it is a fluffy construct, and should not require too much inspection. But V-Day is D-day now, as far as women’s rights movements are concerned. The day has grown to be important because it appears that there is now a fight on, for the ability to love and express it.  

In January 2009, men from Sri Ram Sena, a Hindu right wing group, barged into a pub in Mangalore, dragged women out and assaulted them. They felt the need to act as vigilantes because women drinking in a pub was unacceptable to them. They then threatened to strike again, on Valentine’s Day. Pramod Muthalik, their leader said, “Our activists will go around with a priest, a turmeric stub and a ‘mangal sutra’ on February 14. If we come across couples being together in public and expressing their love, we will take them to the nearest temple and conduct their marriage,” If there was resistance to this by the couple, the girl would be made to tie a rakhi on the boy.

In the “WTF History of Indian feminism,” this incident has a chapter. When a social class is faced with such ridiculous opposition, the only way to respond to it adequately is with irreverence. This explains the ingenuity of Slut Walk. In this case, a fitting reply was provided by the ‘Pink Chaddi Campaign.’ A bunch of women got together, and decided to send these saffron-chaddi men, some pink underwear. The aim was to flood the Hubli office of this group with mountains of panties, by Valentine’s Day 2009. And this has made a permanent X-mark on 14 February, on the activist calendar.

The ‘Consortium of Loose and Pub Going Women’ was started, and with a hark back to Gandhi’s ‘Jail Bharo’ campaign (which was invoked even recently during the Anna Hazare agitation), women pledged that they were going to go to a pub, and have a drink. Their slogan was, ‘Pub Bharo.’ Muthalik replied to the women by saying he would send “1000 sarees as return gifts” for the chaddis he receives. By Valentine’s Day, he and about 140 of his goons were taken into preventive custody by the police. Hundreds of chaddis awaited him in his office.

Loving is a hard thing in India. People get killed for loving of their choice. And so we have honour killings, where communities kill their own for eloping or marrying out of their caste. Or fathers kill themselves when their daughters transgress caste lines by loving, and this inflames entire communities, as in Dharmapuri recently. Or for the more ludicrous, police in Bangalore have been intimidating young couples by video taping them while they spend time with each other at public places. 

I want to take the liberty to say that the 16 December gangrape in Delhi, and the subsequent death of the victim, can be seen from some distance, as a wave in Indian feminism. We can see a line from 14 February 2009 to 16 December 2012 to 14 February 2013. Since the rape, there have been massive protests in Delhi, which made history when they reached Raisina Hill, in a country where police permission is required for protests and protests are only permitted in designated areas. Protestors were subjected to water cannons and tear gas. The protests were spontaneous, lacking in leadership, and were united by pure outrage. Important dates that came between 16 December and 14 February, have all seen protest as a response to celebration, including Christmas, New Year and Republic Day. People are still at Jantar Mantar in Delhi, everyday. Some have been fasting, some have set up camp. 

Since then, fast track courts have been set up around India, to deal with long pending rape cases. Life imprisonments and death sentences are being doled out, perhaps in response to the vociferous and dangerous public outcry for the same. The winter session of the Parliament closed with no closure on the Criminal Law Amendment Bill 2012, which sought to deal with many issues of violence on women. The path breaking report by the Justice Verma Committee was released on time to widespread appreciation. But the government came out with an ordinance that instead of heeding the prudent Verma recommendations and placating people, has made them more angry due to its haste, ill thought out recommendations and secrecy. At the impending budget session of Parliament which starts on 21 February, activists are pledging that they will keep a watch on how the government allocates funds, and if any will be spared for safety of women.

It is in this ironic period, that Valentine’s Day falls. It has been four years since Pink Chaddi and 14 February, is hardly a fluffy day anymore. It is a day of strategic importance to the women’s movement. It is a day for deep social introspection, the kind of stuff to be philosophized about in academia. For the young people who do celebrate Valentine’s Day, albeit an urban young India, it is now a significant day to reclaim their choice to love and express it and their freedom to live fearlessly. By extension, it is a day to resist moral policing of this expression and sexual violence. This “western concept,” which angers Indian conservatives so much, has been made quite personal to Indians, something the conservatives did not foresee.

Globally as well, this day, this year, is significant because today is when one billion people are expected to “strike, rise and dance” as part of the One Billion Rising campaign. The campaign was started by the very famous Eve Ensler, author of Vagina Monologues- a hit play where each of the monologues deals with different aspects of the feminine experience. The campaign is premised on the realisation that one in three women will be raped or beaten in the world, in her lifetime. This makes one billion women. The movement is asking women and men who support them, to rise, on this "V-Day" and take to the streets and dance. 

The global support for this cause comes at the right time for India, and there are about five different events happening in Delhi alone. The biggest is happening at Parliament Street from 5pm today, where the entire street is going to be occupied with singing, dancing, posters, photo exhibitions, street plays, art installations and other innovative interventions. Other events are happening in Kolkata, Mumbai, Bangalore and Hyderabad. Make it to a rising in your neighbourhood, or organise one yourself, for the freedom to love and be fearless.

12:39PM

Advani filed his BJP nomination papers from the Gandhinagar constituency today, at exactly 12:39pm.

So did, Suresh Patel, who filed his Congress nomination papers today. Also at 12:39pm.

Advani’s filing of papers was preceded by a Hindu puja at his house.

12:39pm is an auspicious time for Hindus. They believe that every thing they do at this stroke of the clock, will be fruitful.

Apart from the stark incongruity of the fact that both rival parties have filed their papers at the same time, both expecting that it will bring them luck in the form of winning the elections, is the fact, that the BJP who is rampantly claiming it is a secular party, amidst wide spread skepticism of the weight of the statement, conducted a Hindu puja over the nomination papers, with no thought to emphasizing their ‘secular nature’.

This issue really pertains to the possibility of a secular-democracy, and the possibility of existence of a democracy in a secular state. I have with me an article I’ve written over a year back, on the same issue. I haven’t blogged it, because I wasn’t able to arrive at a suitable consensus (I will soon, and this post will be rehashed). So I’m not opening that subject right now, but I do want to bring to attention this one fact, as below.

Is it appropriate for a secular party, to embrace the majority religion, as the party religion?

If I stand for election, as the BJP candidate for Gandhinagar, as a Muslim/Christian/Sikh/Jain/Buddhist/ Jewish/Zoroastrian/atheist candidate, am I expected to attend the puja, be decorated with a tikka, and file my papers at 12:39pm too?

All over India, in said secular environments, at business establishments, generator rooms and more, on every Hindu festival, puja is carried out, no matter what the sentiment of the minority community is. The sentiment is ignored by the minority community themselves, as well as the ones carrying out the puja, ie: the majority community. It has become commonplace, such that nobody has an opinion any more, and nobody expects an opinion either.

But, I'm not going to talk about it now. I will when I put up that post I mentioned earlier.

Gripped By Terror - Part 3

Terrorism has no religion.

Not matter what, I will always support that. I have several Muslim friends. Some of my best friends are Muslims. Why am I even talking about Muslims here? It is because of the unfortunate fact that terrorism has become synonymous with Islam.

But how much can you blame the world for that stereotyping? Nearly every terrorist act in the last 5 years or so, has been in the name of Allah, for the purpose of Jihad. Terrorists freely admit their intentions of wiping out all infidels.

Somehow, only selected verses from the Quran seem to be taught to these young men and women.

I see a parallel here with Catholicism. Even Judaism. Even Hinduism. Devotees allow somebody else to dictate religion to them. They become pawns in somebody else’s understanding of the holy texts.

Let me explain. For centuries, Jews were not allowed to read the Torah. Only rabbis read and explained the scriptures. Catholics too, surrendered their beliefs to the butchering of priests. They never took their version of the Bible home, to study it for themselves. The binding caste system of the Hindus did the same thing. Only the Brahmins, who belonged to the highest class, were allowed to read the scriptures. Why, lower castes weren’t even taught how to read, just so that there would be no danger of them even accidently reading the ancient texts!

However, the kind of extremist undertakings that we see happening in Islam today, did not happen in these other religions. Yes we had the crusades by the Catholics. But then the Protestants broke away, and that history never repeated itself. And the caste system in Hinduism, though still alive, is not practiced to the same degree. It now mainly shows up for marriages and other alliances only.

Like a Muslim friend of mine said, most religions evolved with time. Islam seems to have not.

Coming back to what I started with, I cannot however say that Muslims are terrorists. Any God loving person wouldn’t do what they are doing. And as yet another Muslim friend of mine said to me, “We don’t even consider these terrorists as Muslims. A true Muslim would never do this. This is not what Islam teaches us.”

How can a religion ask of its followers to kill followers of other faiths? If it did, it wouldn’t even be a religion anymore. It would be a perversion.

More on stereotypes.

Just like my Muslim brothers and sisters are shaking their heads all over the world and saying “This is not us”, I’d like to tell you about another stereotyping that I do not like.

It’s the stereotyping of non Muslims.

We do not want terrorists to generalize all Indians or all Americans or all anybody’s as bad people either. We do not want to be held responsible for what the administration 60 years ago did or didn’t do. Plenty of water has flown under the bridge, and wrongs have been done by both sides. But to kill random innocents now is wrong. Does my judgment count for anything?

I have questions. Lots of them.

I asked a friend about the hierarchy of Islamic administration. Like in Christianity, in India itself, there is the Church of North India and the Church of South India. Each has its own diocese. The various priests all come under a Bishop. Then of course there is the Pope, who is the highest authority for Catholics.

So what is the system like in Islam? She wasn’t able to answer me, but I hope to find out soon.

Guessing that there is a head cleric, for the entire world, maybe at Mecca, I would like to know, what they have to say about all this. Do they not also agree that what is going on is a gross misinterpretation of the Quran? Then why are they silent? Even if there is no head cleric, why aren’t Muslims uniting to show the world different, to clear up misconceptions? Why isn’t there a movement? Why aren’t they coming forward, to not only tell the world that this is not what Islam is all about, and confirm what I believe, but also to save these many Muslims who are laying their own lives for hoped martyrdom?

Coming back to the terrorists now. More questions.

How is a blast in a hotel, a Holy War? How is killing random people, who I am sorry to say, nobody but their immediate family and friends care about, fulfilling their purpose? If they want some attention- which we know they do- why don’t they target famous figures, world leaders and the like? Instead they target not just innocent people, but also random people? Why?

Gripped By Terror - Part 4

I was watching the news when the first image of one of the terrorists was put up for the first time. It was the picture of a young man, who didn’t look older than 20, in a black T-shirt saying Versace, with a blue backpack. And an AK47. He had what appeared to be a line of blood on his face. And he was smiling. Not even in an evil sinister way. He was just smiling.

It scared me. It scared me because I was just thinking how he could have been my neighbor, or the boy who sat in the row behind me at college. He could have been my best friend’s boy friend. He could have been anybody. Of all the pictures of the terrorists that we have seen, it is surprising that not one of them had the trademark beard and traditional clothes.

The man/boy with the Versace T-shirt featured in nearly every photo taken. He was obviously not the most careful of the lot. I want to know what became of him.

None of them wore masks. Maybe they had no plans of escaping anyway? Maybe they had either planned to die in battle, or were aware and prepared to spend life in jail if they were caught alive. Why else would they not wear masks?

But what sort of indoctrination and brain washing prepares you for death or a life in jail?

I immediately thought of the parents of these young men. Do they know what their sons have done? Its usually a big deal for parents to be called to school even, when their sons have done something stupid like bunk class or get into a fight. But what about when their sons grow up to be terrorists?

Was it them as parents who failed? Or do they believe the same things as their sons? Was it religion who failed them? Was it us, who showed them too little love, for them to think there was any good in the world?

When I saw images of the guns being used, they looked familiar. Then of course I learnt that they were AK47’s. I don’t know anything about defense and arms, but I do know that model number. The news also mentioned that Bazookas were being used by the terrorists.

I was reminded of how I first learnt the word Bazooka. It was more than 5 years ago when we bought our first computer. I had asked some of my neighbors in the building, to give me some computer games. I didn’t care for them, but I thought that’s what everybody did when they had computers- they played computer games on them.

They installed 2 games for me that day (which I never played finally). One was an NBA Basketball game. And the other was this cops and robbers kind of game, where the bad guys had fancy cars and fancy guns. The boy who gave me the game played a few rounds to show me how it worked. And I remember him getting excited when the ‘bazookas’ were used.

That’s the story of how I learnt of bazookas.

I also remember an argument I had with a friend of mine a few months back, about video games. I swore that when I had kids, they were not going to be given those toy guns with the springs inside, that made annoying shooting noises when one pulled the trigger. They were also not going to be allowed to play boy-games that involved shooting and killing. And finally, there would be no watching of wrestling on TV.

My friend disagreed with my point of view. He insisted that there was nothing wrong with these things; he didn’t turn out wrong after all.

That’s not the point. If I had a choice, I would remove the word ‘hate’ and ‘kill’ from the dictionary. That would sadly not solve anything. Hate is in all of us. So is love. We are born with it. We are born into it. But I want for every child in the world, to not know of these evils.

That’s like asking for a dog’s tail to be straight. Its like that story about the man who raised a leopard cub, on vegetarian food all its life, but one day when the cub licked blood off a child’s wound, it knew what it was made for.

Gripped By Terror - Part 6

Remember when I said that I had thought that my friend’s friend’s friend was the closest I had come to being affected by terrorism?

Listen to this. I have another friend who has all her family in Mumbai, living opposite and behind one of the 11 sites of attack. They saw the place nearby catch on fire. They saw everything. The lights were off in their buildings. The force of the impact shook the entire structure causing the windows to shatter. One of their neighbors, a young married couple, panicked that their building wasn’t strong enough. So they decided to make a quick dash to the next building. They were shot dead. Both of them. Their bodies were lying in the street for around 2 hours. Nobody could leave their homes to drag the bodies to safety. And the ambulances were busy with all the chaos. She also had 2 other incidents that had happier endings- another family friend of hers was supposed to be working at the Taj on That Night. His shift was changed at the last minute. Further, one of her relatives was to arrive at CST That Day. Her trip was cancelled.

This is what is termed as ‘mindless killing.’ This is why I asked why terrorists not just killed innocent people, but also randomly.

I’m still trying to imagine what kind of doctrines these people are fed, in order to become this numb. Visualize this: the terrorists see a target in front of them. They take aim. They shoot. They watch the person fall dead. They shoot people on their left and right. They see dead bodies all around them. They walk through blood, step over bodies. Yet they kill some more. And they have peace in their minds, that they are doing the right thing.

I can only say that they see these things, but they don’t really see these things.

So how exactly do we root out terrorism?

In spite of all the hope and faith I have, some practical fibre in me tells me that this is something that will never leave us completely. Its like these microorganisms that are said to be immortal, because nothing can kill them.

Its like a horror movie, where you slice it once in the head, and 2 new ones appear.

As long as there is one left, there will be another.

So lets meet over coffee sometime.

And talk about how we are going to deal with this

On religion once again.

Its times like these that disillusion a lot of people, with regards to religion and faith. They ask where God is in all this.

Allow me to tell you what Mahesh Bhatt said.

“Don’t expect your gods and goddesses to come down and sort this out for us. We are the architects of this destruction.”

Doesn’t that make sense?

A far cry from ‘heaven being a place on earth’, like the Bangles felt it was.

One of my friends had on her Facebook status, that she is hoping for justice.

Justice? That word has lost all its meaning. This is not a fair fight. When innocent civilians have guns held to their heads, as a barter, that is not a fair fight.

According to the traditions of warfare, one never attacks an unarmed opponent. And one never attacks when the opponent is sleeping. Those were the good old days of chivalry and honor.. and justice.

Unless you are willing to wait for judgment day, there will be no justice. So, hold your peace.

Why is this happening to us?

This is not the kind of philosophy I would like to give a grieving person, or probably receive when I am grieving. But here’s what I think:

Know how they say ‘when you smile the world smiles with you, but when you frown, you frown alone’? Apparently this is not so. In fact the world doesn’t always smile with you when you are smiling, because the sight of someone else happy and successful burns them up. On the other hand, it is during times of grief that our hearts melt for each other. We make chicken soup for a person we don’t like just because we are good people deep down inside.

There’s a particular medical condition that some people are born with, in which, they cannot feel pain. You can put staples in their hand, or pluck out each strand of hair from their head, but they won’t feel a thing. Lucky for them you say? Not so. These people are at the disadvantage of not knowing if their body is burning or if they have lost a limb, because of this very same wolf in sheep’s clothing. And by the time they do realize it, it might be too late.

Pain is a necessary evil.

Times of happiness do not make humanity come together. Times of sadness do. Laughs, cries and music have no language just like terrorism has no religion.

To end, I want to say this.

Please love your neighbors more. He might just be a terrorist, in need of some love, and in need of someone to tell him the world’s not such a bad place.

I am praying for the terrorists. I’m praying for the world tonight.

You title this one, ok?

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